Epistollary

Letter 1.

To: Suzanna Bradstock, California, Beverly Hills 90210, Lincoln Street.
From: Billy-Joe Cyrus, Us prison.

Dear Suzie,

How's my SuzieQ been doin? Did ya miss me babe? I sure missed you love! I haven't seen you in ages and I hope I see you when i get out of this dump which is soon. Man I can't wait! It's been like ten years but I bet you looks as hot as you did back then!

So I heard you divorced that guy you was married to a few years back. I heard it on TV, it was all over the news! I'm guessing it's a guy who had his pockets full! I always knew you'd marrys a rich guy... you know since I went to jail and we couldn't be together.

You know wat? I ain't mad at yous for never comin to visit me. I know hurt I yous. And I'm terribly sorry for everything I've done. But I'm gonna make it up to ya babe, i promise you dat.

Anyway we'll talk about this when i get out. Man I missed ya babe! Now that you're alone i bet you wanna meet up late at nights like we used to remember? I know you wanna relive our love like i do! So wat do say we get back together and live a great life just the two us. I know you want to and i know that you've never stopped loving me, I mean we had so much passion babe! You know what we should do when i get outta here? We should go to Vegas, like the good old days! I hope you haven't lost your gabbling spirit cuz i loved dat about you!

See you soon babe.
Love B.J.
September 02/2009

Letter 2

To: Billy-Joe Cyrus, US prison
From: Suzanna Bradstock, California, Beverly Hills 90210, Lincoln Street.
Billy-Joe,

I KNOW YOU DON'T MISS ME YOU SICK BASTARD!! How stupid do think I am? I know that all you want is my money now that you know I'm wealthy. Well let me tell you something mister, I'm not the naive 28year old girl you knew ten years ago!

I will not meet you B.J. EVER! I hope you rot in that jail! I don't care about you anymore. But you are right about one thing, you did hurt me! You broke my heart and if you think that I will ever even think about forgiving you, you are wrong! What sick person would kill a child for drugs? It serves you right for not having me there for you. For two years I've been thinking how you betrayed me those last few months that we were together. You cheated on me and not just with women, you hit me and stole from me and then you killed a child to sell his organs. And I ask again. What sick person would do such a thing?!

And I will fly off, not to Vegas, but to Europe, I have all the money in the world and i plan on spending it on more importand things than gabbling with my new boyfriend who by the way is filthy rich too!

Sdon't you ever bother me again because you won't get any response!
...Love...
Suzanna.

September 19/2009.

Letter 3

To: Suzanna Bradstock, California, Beverly Hills 90210, Lincoln Street.
From: Billy-Joe Cyrus, Beverly Hills 90210 post office.

Dear SuzieQ,

OH no you caught me! I guess i can't do anything now... What will I do? I'm so scared that your rich boyfriend is gonna kill me with his vicious vicious money! NOT!

Babe I'm outta jail now, I did my time in there and you don't know how good it's been for me. You knows how many freaks are in there? I has like a million ideas on how to killa ya right now babe. You can't stop me, no one can. And if yous call the police, what are you gonna tell'em? You don't know where I live, I could be anywhere, I could be right next to ya and you won't knows it!

You know wat? All that angry talk in that last letter made me change my mind. I'm gonna kill ya! I ain't gonna take shit like that and you know it! I was always tuff but now that i got outta jail, I'm smarter too!

But I can gives ya one more chance. If you give me 1 million dollars I'll let ya live. Wat do you think about dat? Ain't I a good guy after all? You can meet me anywhere you like babe.
By the way leave your next letter to your local post office and give to Andy, he'll know what to do.
Love B.J. September 23/2009.
P.s. You looked great in that dress you wore last night.

Letter 4

To:Billy-Joe Cyrus
From:Suzanna Bradstock, California, Beverly Hills 90210, Lincoln Street.

My dear B.J.,

I didn't want you to take this personal. I'm sorry if I have offended you. I was just a little angry because you never wrote me a letter until your last days in jail, but I'm alright now. I would like to apologize for my harsh words!

I have an idea. Let's go to Vegas, just the two of us! We can gamble as much as you want, love, and then we can go to Paris and spend all the money that we'll win in Vegas.

I'll break up with my boyfriend and then we can get back together, relive our love and improve our relationship. I know you don't want to kill me honey, you still love me! I'll help you with your anger issues because obviously jail has made you crazy,my love. Just let me love you again and we'll forget everything else. I know that you'll aggree with me once you read this and I hope you forgive me for not visiting you all those years. And I want you to know that I really missed you and I've never stopped thinking about you love.

So what do you say 2 weeks from now we meet at the airport? I'll have 2 tickets to Vegas and a lot of money for us to spend!
Love, your SuzieQ.
September 26/2009.

Letter 5

To: Suzanna Bradstock, New York, Manhattan, 7th avenue and 42nd street.

From Billy-Joe Cyrus, New York, Manhattan 7th avenue post office.

Dear Suzie,

Didn't I tell you that I ain't stupid no more? I knows that you doesn't mean anything you said on that last letter an this made so angry! And babe, why did ya move from your house? It was such a lovely home! I hope you don't think you can run away from me!

And do you wanna know something else babe? I've changed me my mind! I ain't givin you another chance cuz you wasn't honest with me. I want you to know that this is the last letter tha you will receive from me and you,my love, won't even have the time to respond. I'M COMING TO GET YOU! I don't cares about your money no more, i just wanna kill ya! And I won't even regret it!You won't know where to hide, I'll get ya when you least expect it SO WATCH OUT! And when i stab that knife in your heart I'll be laughing, cuz it's ironic. You weren't there when I needed you and that broke my heart. So I'll stab you first in the heart so you can feel what I felt!

But I want you to know that i still love and when I kill myself it'll be cuz I'll miss ya so much that I'll want to see you again up in heaven where we'll both be!
Love, your soon to be killer

Billy-Joe Cyrus October 17/2009.